ICQ messages: Shambler = Me Gwog = PlanetDaikatana site maintainer ... Shambler: run, move, jump, dodge eheheheheh /me should play golly in dm :P Gwog: yeah man, someday we should. It'll do that huge ego of yours some good to get that horrible of a beatdown. Shambler: well at least i run in dm instead of sitting there wondering why the shotcycler6 won't keep firing Gwog: My DM opponents never survive the first sc barrage. So reloading is irrelevant in dm. Shambler: that is because your opponents have no health left from all the c4 mines someone placed on their spawn spot Gwog: well, that's a very good point heheh Shambler: so you admit to mining spawns, then just sitting somewhere, say on top of an armour spot, and waiting till these p1mps who now have 1 health come past and then wave the sc6 vaguely in their direction?? Gwog: nah, I never mine spawns (anymore) and in fact would never use the vizatergo at all if it wasn't necessary. Sometimes some of these clan guys play games on Mplayer and don't mine at all, and those are my favorites. but if you read my strat guide, you know that I've got a billion tactics to lay down c4 ownage if it's that kind of game. Shambler: i read your ""strat"" guide and laughed :P Gwog: bah, there's none better. the only thing I left out was strafe jumping. Shambler: when i smak your gibs into the walls of ss7 so many times i could sell it as a piece of art, then you will have more stuff to add... Gwog: yeah, whatever Mr. "Botmatch is not Single Player" Shambler: when you see your shotcycler flying away from your dying body so many times you get dizzy from watching it, you will wish you were playing bots or single player or anything but shambler Gwog: Whatever, Mr. "It's Crimson not Pink Dammit" Shambler: crimson will be the colour of your gibs in the game....and the colour of your sweating face IRL as you struggle to even get to a weapon before shambler explodes you into little bits Gwog: Whatever, Mr. "I live on a funny island and got my ass kicked by America 200 years ago" Shambler: don't worry you will be remembering your smak downs for 200 years....or more likely undergoing counselling to try to forget the huge 0wnage shambler dished out Gwog: Whatever, Mr. "I very annoyingly say DKT instead of the correct way DK like my master Gwog" Shambler: name of the game doesn't matter, because you will be uninstalling it in disgust at your own meagre non-skills Gwog: haha dude at home the other day I finally got around to trying QuakeWorld out (I had only ever played Q1 on a LAN). Every server I connected to I got punked down so hard that I might as well not have had my hands on the mouse. Shambler: that's good you will be getting used to it at least you might survive the forthcoming beatdown with your mind intact....mmmm .....you will need that mind working well because shambler's victory margin will be so high i doubt i'll be able to count it still, counting up my score will give you something to do while you are lying on the floor waiting for the punishment to stop Shambler: where were we?? oh yes shambler was warning golly of his imminent ingame demise... Gwog: right, and I was laughing at you. Shambler: if you weren't laughing, you'd be crying at all the pain and humilation i will deliver don't worry, you can play under a false name... Gwog: nah, I think I'll stick with 'Shamblers Daddy' Shambler: that would be ironic, the daddy who get's himself spanked by the kid for his naughty behaviour that naughty behavior being trying to connect to a server and actually keep his score out of negative figures... Gwog: haha very much like the 'davo vs. gollywog' situation Shambler: well actually i think you will be able to keep to a 0 score easily as you won't get near a rl or c4 alive, any shambler's "clean up" operation will be so efficient he will probably kill you outright rather than allowing you to suicide through cratering or whatever other puny methods you will be trying to stop shambler adding yet another frag to his collossal total.... Gwog: What I think is much more likely is that you will learn that, much like one-handed surfing, one-handed DMing is not possible against an opponent as viciously cunning and swift as myself. In fact, you may even want to consider transitioning over from being a keyboarder to learning how to use the mouse... it will facilitate your ability to witness the death that will rain down upon you. Shambler: no i think i will play you one handed after all the other hand will be controlling the mouse on another computer which will be spectating your spectacular defeat, so i can see all the devastating p1mpdowns i dish out from a variety of exciting angles after all it will get boring just seeing gib explosion after gib explosion from my own perspective, and having to watch 2 screens at once might delude me into thinking there is a slight hint of "challenge" Gwog: the REAL tragedy will be the loss of such a potentially excellent and pink hosted site, as your pride most likely will not allow you to continue working as our slave after we beat you like a ten-year old who cannot even reach the keyboard. Shambler: i think you will be more likely do delete my site in disgust after i post 17 different demos of you getting 0wned so bad all the pdkt visitors go straight there for entertainment instead of reading your news... Gwog: see, at this point I'm afraid our conversation will have to degenerate into simple name calling. Much like crushing you in DM, besting you in a war of ICQ insulting has been far too easy, and I must be off to find something more worthwhile to do... such as reading the shugashack boards. Shambler: you best shambler in nothing, not even in your sickest fantasies could you conceive of beating shambler shambler's 0wnage in the war of words is merely to whet his appetite for hours of continual 0wnage in the _shooting gallery_ otherwise known as "playing golly" Gwog: Gwog 30 davo 0 Shambler -3 rinse repeat Shambler: poor davo he will get jealous that i will have beaten his golly smakdown 10 times over Gwog: perhaps you will be able to pick up some gwog-worshipping tips from davo Shambler: perhaps i will let davo play a few games instead of me (like when i get bored of fragging you every 5 seconds), as once you recover from the contiunal beatdowns, you will be giving up dkt and selling your computer and davo wouldn't be able to p1mp you again which would be unfair on him, you must admit... Gwog: the only thing I admit is to being so damn cool I should be illegal. Shambler: the only illegal things you'll see are "illegal operations" error messages as the server crashes time after time when it tries to calculate shambler's frags lucky i upgraded so my pc should be able to handle numbers of that magnitude Gwog: hopefully you also upgraded to a titanium keyboard that can withstand the pounding it will recieve as you repeatedly attempt to even fire your weapon before becoming yet another number in my frag count. Shambler: hopefully you will upgrade to using a mouse so you can have the privilege of looking up and down to see where shambler's next devastating attack will come from as you run for your worthless life Gwog: your face, my rockets. I don't understand why that is so confusing to you. Shambler: i don't know why you'd need any rockets in a situation where: time taken for golly to reach rocket launcher: 4.5 seconds golly's life expectancy: 1.35 seconds Gwog: you continue to talk about this 'golly' person, which I can only assume is a very sad attempt to fabricate an opponent that you can claim you've beaten over and over, when in fact that nick is never used. I expect you to use the following sentence very often: "Yeah, while it's true that that horrible bastard Gwog owned up on me in every way conceiveable, man oh man did I ever win against golly!" Shambler: i expect you will be using this sentence often: "Shambler 817 - Gwog 0 again!! oh no, what can i do, how can i stop this, i wish i'd never played shambler, please god help meeeee!!" Gwog: Sorry, did you say something? I had my eyes closed... I was dreaming about the day when I'll be reading Gwog-worshipping articles on all your websites, which will inevitably all change from FPS-centric sites to places where you sing my praises. Shambler: /me goes to register www.gwoggetsspanked.com doesn't matter that it costs $80 or whatever to register, you will be paying me huge wads of cash just to stop beating you into a pulp Gwog: Gamespy already owns that domain Shambler: well they are very wise and have been anticipating your embarrassing defeat at shambler's hands, ever since shambler took an interest in dkt, they knew gwog would be made the laughing stock of gsn... Gwog: isn't 'Shambler' british-ese for "Gwog's bitch"? Shambler: language is an irrelvance as after his massive defeat, gwog will only be able to mutter and mumble unintelligble gibberish about negative scores, gibs and spawn rape, and will have to be sedated and spoon fed for the rest of his days Gwog: "language is an irrelvance as after his massive defeat, gwog will only be able to mutter and mumble unintelligble gibberish about negative scores, gibs and spawn rape, and will have to be sedated and spoon fed for the rest of his days" - Shambler, 1999 "Shambler who?" - Gwog, 2000 Shambler: i do not think you will have regained any powers of speech nor memory after your brain gets fried from watching death...after death....after death.....when shambler kills you so quickly it will be like a strobe effect giving you epilepsy so you will barely remember your own name let alone shambler's.... Gwog: I look forward to having my hair blown back by the wind generated from the numbers in my frag count rapidly increasing when we next play Shambler: i look forward to seeing you tear that hair out when you only manage to get a weapon once in all the games you play (and that one time will be when shambler has to hunt for ammo because he is killing you so quickly - of course shambler will run out of ammo lots when he's fragging gwog 38 times a minute, but the glove kills get boring once shambler has done a hundred or so of them...) Gwog: I don't expect to ever have to search for ammo, since the disruptor glove/discus/silverclaw/glock will be all I'll need. In fact, most likely I'll never use weapons, and instead push you off high spots multiple times to kill you. Weapons would be too easy. Shambler: the only way you will make it to any high spots is by spawning there or getting blown there by shambler's rockets of course i will mostly be getting to higher spots by c4 jumping of your corpse, to save you waiting precious seconds for your next death Gwog: when I'm bored of destroying you multiples of times simply by closing doors and slamming lifts on you, I might handicap myself by using the ION Blaster, but only hitting you with ricochets. Shambler: the only time you'll ever even see the ion blaster is when i am holding it while i taunt your corpse before the next spawn kill Gwog: I hope Daikatana is very alt-tab stable. This will allow you to alt-tab between the hurricane of smackdowns I lay upon you and frantically paging through my strat guide looking for the "You Suck, So Here's What To Do" section. Shambler: i think you will be using ctrl-alt-delete more... unless you have already thrown the monitor out the window in a temper tantrum as shambler's score reaches triple figures for the first of many times Gwog: unlikely, as I probably won't even have to turn my monitor on in order to victimize you. Shambler: i don't think either of us will need to even play the game, as i can see you are on the verge of conceding defeat a priori just to avoid the horror of the beatdown you can foresee Gwog: the only thing I concede is that yes, maybe you should stick to Quake 3, since I'd hate to see my DK domination turn you to a life of depression and despair. Shambler: q3a makes me laugh almost as much as your pitiful attempts to move an inch before shambler frags you in the real dm game of dkt, your meagre q3a keyboarding skills won't save you... nothing will save you.... except a power cut, maybe Gwog: in gibbler, the C4 building spawn point is on the third floor, right? Shambler: yeah expect to get quite used to seeing that from a sideways angle of course... Gwog: there. I have placed more of my strategy wisdom onto the forums for you to attempt to learn how to survive more than two seconds before becoming just another scalp on Gwog's heavily laden belt. Shambler: i hope you are wise enough not to run when shambler is 0wning you shambler gets impatient when he has to chase after the meat... Gwog: I think it's more likely that you will become impatient at the fact that your 'fire' button does not seem to work. Shambler: i doubt i will need to fire once you start using your 1337 pre-prepared bind: gwogshambler0wnage.cfg: alias owned "+kill;exec again" alias again "exec owned" bind w "owned" when you are sitting in a corner continuously suiciding, there will be little need to fire, except out of boredom Gwog: aliases? bah, I won't even need to change the default key settings. In fact, I may switch all the movement and fire keys to function keys just to attempt to make it challenging. Shambler: you will be moving?? only from rocket kickback when i slap you to the ceiling and back otherwise you will be standing still and wondering how to turn round before your next death Gwog: you are owned. case closed. Shambler: you will not know the meaning of "0wned" until shambler teaches you in a 2,500 frag lesson damn i should charge for that sort of education Shambler: well....i can see you have gone offline, no doubt because the terror induced by shambler's promised p1mping has given you explosive diarrhoea i hope your bowels recover soon it would be a pity to flood your seat as shambler is flooding your screen full of rockets and gibs bye....for....now bwahahahahaaa!!! ... Later on when I'm asking Gwog's permission to post this... ... Gwog: heh, post away. figured this was coming. Shambler: well i think the public will want to know =) Gwog: it will give them a heads up to explain why you will be in such a perpetual foul mood when DK comes out. Shambler: i will be in a foul mood because you will refuse to play me after our first game consisting of gwog dying 328 times consecutively Gwog: I will only refuse to play you in accordance with my rule of not associating with weakling punks with purple web pages. Shambler: my 0wnage of you will be making news on the purple webpage for months Gwog: consider yourself banned from PDK's forums, along with the two maggots I banned today. Shambler: aaah ha!! /me senses golly running scared already :P Gwog: consider yourself banned from PDK's ftp. spektrum is mine. Shambler: lol you can shut down my GSN sites but you will not be able to keep a 20 game to nil victory quiet forever Gwog: sure I can when the toe of my boot meets the inside of the back of your skull. Shambler: surely you would not resort to physical violence to prevent a virtual beatdown?? bah, what do i care, i could defeat you with all my limbs broken, pushing the mouse around with my nose Gwog: violence is always the best alternative. And I find the thought of you trying to play with your arms broken very... compelling heh. Shambler: i have been practising with my feet and other limbs as i feel merely 0wning you multiple times over with hands as normal wouldn't be exciting enough Gwog: oh, I thought you did that due to your grotesquely misshapen mutant body. ...