Chatting in #terrafusion:
sheep     = Me
Bal       = Bouncy and generally lacking in Unreal Tournament
KamiKhazi = The world's worst mapper
Kab1e     = Skiving off the washing up

...
* sheep going to kami's fortnight-long party, hehe
<Bal> eh?
<KamiKhazi> yay
<sheep> see his pnf column
<KamiKhazi> a sheep that all the farmers can shag in the bedroom
<Bal> hehe
<sheep> so
<sheep> you have lots of farmers coming round then??
<sheep> well, it is scotland after all, i guess
<KamiKhazi> well i know that many ppl since im so popular... there's bound to be a 
  few farmers there
<sheep> hahaha
<KamiKhazi> however most ppl there will be the best looking girls in scotland all 
  competing with each other to shag me
<sheep> best looking girls in scotland??
<sheep> so they will all be obese red haired hogs then...
<Kab1e> LoL
<KamiKhazi> i like red haired women
<KamiKhazi> fat women do exist in scotland, but they're rare
<sheep> what, the women or the fat?
* KamiKhazi contemplates
<sheep> Unfortunately this map doesn't work very well. 
<sheep> a terrible effect on the r_speeds, sending them up to over 1000 at times! 
<KamiKhazi> i hope your not reffering to argument!
<sheep> To make things worse, the map has a couple of "ammo cache" areas where 
  much of the stock is located. This could bottleneck play. 
<sheep> Architecture is very square. 
<sheep> outdoor bits, which could have used a less tiled texture. In fact, the ceilings 
  could have used a better texture too. 
<sheep> a number of dark corners and dead-ends let it down. 
<KamiKhazi> the ceiling texture ROCKED
<KamiKhazi> there's no dead ends!
<sheep> To make things worse, there is a horribly cutesy cottage (second 
  screenshot) with a chest-high bench (urgh) and - dear God, preserve us - a 
  Pentagram of Protection! This item does nothing more than completely screw 
  gameplay
<KamiKhazi> no it doesnt!
<sheep> it's a mess. Poor attention to coherence (muddle of tech and medieval bits), 
  silly frills (ie. the cottage, water tubs by LG, the message on the Ring's cage), 
  appalling r_speeds in the central section and poor design and item layout make this 
  thing rate only 2.5/5... 
<KamiKhazi> it repawns every 5 minutes FFS!
<sheep> I found one misaligned texture. And the Pentagram is always out of place
<KamiKhazi> ARGH
<sheep> This map simply doesn't make the cut. 
<KamiKhazi> half of that review was bull shit!
<sheep> LOL!!!
<sheep> apparently 3/5 of the map was bullshit
<KamiKhazi> i'd give it 4.5/5 for goodness
<KamiKhazi> you havent even played it so I don't know what your talking about
<sheep> oh
<sheep> i trust fat blokes reviews
<sheep> he's a sensible sort of chap
<sheep> who knows plenty about *good* maps
<KamiKhazi> and I don't just mean walk about listening to see if "lights buzz" but i 
  mean play it!
<sheep> so i'd imagine he's got that pretty much spot on
<sheep> Architecture is very blocky and pretty bland
<KamiKhazi> maybe!
<sheep> It also suffers from some areas just being too big and open, in the first 
  screenie the r_speeds jump up to the 900 mark. 
<sheep> Lighting is also a little too bright and also seems flat. 
<KamiKhazi> most ppl have p3 500's these days
<KamiKhazi> it's not too bright, turn the brightness down ffs
<sheep> There are a couple cheesy things in the map such as the Quake logo. It 
  seems to be there just to fill some empty space
<KamiKhazi> ok that's agreed
<sheep> I'm also not sure that a pentagram of protection should be in there. 
<KamiKhazi> THE FUCKING PENTA ROCKS! 
<KamiKhazi> you can get the penta and quad at the same time, which is good
<KamiKhazi> you can do quad jumps etc
<sheep> this 2 year old piece of shit. 
<sheep> this 2 year old piece of shit. 
<KamiKhazi> ahem
<KamiKhazi> 2 years/
<sheep> this 2 year old piece of shit. 
<KamiKhazi> it was finished in May 98
<KamiKhazi> my map shall never grow old
* sheep encourages the crowd to chant "this 2 year old piece of shit." over and over 
  again
<KamiKhazi> it's not 2 years old!!!
<KamiKhazi> look at the date on the fucking bsp file
<sheep> so you don't even have the excuse of it being an old map then???
<Kab1e> this 2 year old piece of shitthis 2 year old piece of shitthis 2 year old 
  piece of shitthis 2 year old piece of shitthis 2 year old piece of shitthis 2 year 
  old piece of shitthis 2 year old piece of shitthis 2 year old piece of shit
<sheep> hehe
<KamiKhazi> well... it was a timewarp or summat
* sheep wonders if kami is "wound up" yet....
* Kab1e winds kami up
<KamiKhazi> heh i dont get wound up easily, but paul does ;)
<Kab1e> oh yeh
<Kab1e> now i know why he's always in a bad mood
* sheep and Kab1e watch KamiKhazi bouncing up and down like a clockwork kilted 
  thing
<KamiKhazi> i think he cries in a corner denying all claims of ever knowing Argument
<sheep> ROFL!!!
<Kab1e> hehehe
<KamiKhazi> he came on today and i said
<KamiKhazi> Hi Paul!
<KamiKhazi> then he quit irc
<sheep> hehehe
<sheep> you bastard
<KamiKhazi> LOOK WHAT IVE DONE TO HIM! :((
<Kab1e> just make sure he washes up
<sheep> you have reduced one of the bastions of the dm reviewing scene to a 
  gibbering wreck with your 2 year old piece of shit. 
<Kab1e> it's his job & he's too lazy to do itt & there forcing me to do it cos he's a 
  lazy shit
<KamiKhazi> 1 1/4 year old!
<sheep> kable
<sheep> chill
<Kab1e> he bitches me for not doing HIS job
<sheep> the poor guy has been traumatised by seeing kami's 2 year old piece of 
  shit. 
* KamiKhazi gets a 6 foot long peice of rope...
<Kab1e> it's cos he ain't done it in like 2 days that he's decided 'ummm too much for 
  me to do.. so there for i can blame my laziness on james'
<Kab1e> obviously
* Kab1e steels the rope of kami & hangs himself.. hehe
* Kab1e dies
<sheep> awww poor kable
* KamiKhazi gets out his 6 foot long penis...
<sheep> another victim of the 2 year old piece of shit. 
<KamiKhazi> GRAB MY ROPE!
<sheep> lol
<Kab1e> who's the 2 year old!?
* KamiKhazi ties his 6 foot long penis around sheeps neck
<Kab1e> paul?
<Kab1e> would surprise me..
<KamiKhazi> paul is seeking refuge in damaul's shed
<sheep> no.....
<sheep> hehe
<Kab1e> wouldn't surprise me even...
<Kab1e> is he?
<sheep> yes the safe house for all victims of the infamous 2 year old piece of shit. 
<Kab1e> well, if he washes up before he goes, then i'm ok with that.
<KamiKhazi> !
<KamiKhazi> that's why I wind paul up, cos he has the luxury of damauls shed
<KamiKhazi> I'm jealous :(
* sheep slowly and methodically nibbles his way out of KamiKhazi's penis coils
* KamiKhazi cums all over sheeps new dress
<sheep> i don't wear a dress
<sheep> i am a sheep, i have wool
<sheep> unlike you, who has wooD when you look at me
<KamiKhazi> ok then
<KamiKhazi> FINE im going to surf for a bit!
*** KamiKhazi is now known as Kami|Huff
<sheep> ah ha!!
<sheep> finally, kami gets in a "huff"
<sheep> mission accomplished
...